Just Put The F*cking Turkey in the Oven


Ted & Marguerite Young
The 'Chefs' in our family were great at what they did. Dad was in charge of the main course, Mom was all over the pastries. It made for a stress-free holiday kitchen and a great Thanksgiving dinner. Trouble was, it wasn't until I was in my 30's that I decided it was high time I learned how to cook a f*cking turkey.

Single and living in Dallas without any family, hosting Thanksgiving in my apartment for other single, family-less friends would be a cinch. No big deal.

Until I found out that roasting a turkey was not so simple. "Will you be cooking it with stuffing inside or out"?, "Don't forget to take the bag and the neck out", "Try cooking it in a paper bag", "You've got to roast it upside down", "Deep-fried is the only way to go", "Just smoke it", "You're going to need to cook it at least 4-5 hours".

Who knew?

Thanks to the advice of an experienced patient, I opted to stick the un-stuffed 20 lb. bird into a Reynolds Turkey Oven Bag. Done. 3 hrs flat.
It was the least complicated method of turkey cooking, decreased over-all cooking time and clean up was made easier as the sticky stuff didn't stick to the pan.

There you have it. A totally un-endorsed review of the oven bag.

If only Mom & Dad could have witnessed my first Thanksgiving Dinner. I feel certain they would have cringed at the thought of my using an oven bag but I am confident the turkey would have met their high standards none-the-less.

How I wish Tante Marie was around when I was looking for advice...


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