The Seven Dwarfs of Menopause


Disney's Seven Dwarfs in Snow White
A few years ago, Oprah had Suzanne Somers on as her guest, promoting her latest book, "The Sexy Years". This was how I learned of Suzanne's take on menopause. She alluded to what she called, "The Seven Dwarfs of Menopause. Itchy, Bitchy, Sleepy, Bloated, Sweaty, Forgetful and Psycho". And I recall thinking that her remedy to banish the little fellas by taking 40 pills in the morning, 20 pills in the evening, intravaginal estradiol and applications of topical bioidentical estrogen and progesterone indicated that an 8th dwarf "Squirrelly", had joined the group.

Comforted in the thought that I was one of those fortunate women who experience little (if any) discomfort associated with the hormonal shifts of menopause...BAM! With little advance warning,  I was as surprised as the next guy when I suddenly became an itchy, bloated, sweaty, bitchy, forgetful psycho.

The good news: The dwarfs would exit within minutes of their arrival.
The bad news: I was left to sheepishly explain just why the dish towel folded over the oven handle incited WW III at the Spotswood's.

A word of warning: It was not in anyone's best interest to discuss my displeasure of trivial matters during a hormone surge. I'm just saying.


Sorry for shouting. It wasn't me. It was "Bitchy and Psycho".

So, as 'Mr. Something' scrambled to turn on a fan, provide me with a glass of ice water and a cold pack, I can't help but reflect on his wistful reminisces of what he refers to as, "the good ole days of PMS".
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Nancy Truong said...

I'm finally just reading your blog and all l can say is I love you Joan. Thanks for making my day a little brighter. :)

joanyspot said...

Nancy! Thanks for dropping by. I'm glad you like it. Miss you.