Free Advice: On Finding Love - Part Two


A few (ahem) years ago, as a single, thirty-something, I was convinced that 'normal' guys were non-existent.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't one of the women who had created a list spanning an arm's length of all the qualities I needed in a perfect mate. At thirty-five-ish, I was just wanting to find a guy that had already dealt with his 'issues' and didn't need me to be his full-time mother, therapist or banker.

Little did I know that a girl like me, was a magnet for a guy like that.

And then I put my foot down. If it looked like someone I was dating needed me to cook for him, do his errands, help him with his substance abuse problem, talk about his marriage troubles or could use a was over before it started.

You might be thinking....Oh, c'mon, I would never get involved with a guy/girl like that. But, it happens. All the time.

I have learned that just because you may be pleasant, kind, caring and/or drunk, some people (whether they know it or not) may view those qualities in you as an opportunity for their gain.

I call them "Relationship Vampires".

Oh, they're probably not intrinsically bad - but they are manipulative and self centered people who have most likely gained from this behavior throughout their lives and once you are lured into their web by their big, soulful eyes and sweet smile, it can be difficult to remove yourself as you may have already become emotionally entangled.

Be aware that it's never too late to kick a Relationship Vampire to the curb (so to speak) but it never ends well and it will always have been your fault. Just sayin'.

As we say in nursing circles...the faster you rip that bandage off, the better.

If you are out there looking to find true love, beware of the Relationship Vampire. In the long run, you'll be glad you did - even if he/she had the biggest, most soulful eyes and/or sweetest smile ever.

The goal is to share your life with someone who considers you as highly as you consider them. Finding Love: Part 3

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Jennifer said...

I'm a new follower to your blog! I love this post and it is 100% so true. Your wise words are inspiring. However, I sometimes feel like all males, no matter the age, have some sort of babysitting need...unfortunately!


joanyspot said...

Thanks for following Jennifer!

Heather said...

Seriously! You could not be more right. I just wish I'd realized this 7 years ago before I'd become too entangled. Ugh.

At least I'm out now, right?

joanyspot said...

I'm glad you're out too, Heather. Speaking from experience, I'd rather be single than with someone who wasn't "into" me.